Just when you think life is impossible!

I have learned an important principle tonight. If we are faithful to the Lord he will keep his promises and uphold his side of the bargain. I always thought that this was true but had never had a specific experience that made me really have a testimony of it.

I have recently made some very serious promises with the Lord and have had to be very patient in receiving answers to my prayers, but they have finally been answered and I just want to cry with happiness and relief! I am so grateful for the gospel, its influence in my life and my many good and bad experiences in Utah this year, it truly is where I was supposed to be. 

Life is STRESSFULL!!

So i am just feeling really overwhelmed today. I am stressing about a lot of things, i'll name a few for you:
Getting back into BYU-I
Returning to school and being able to get good grades
Graduating in a timely manner
Leaving my friends in UT
Leaving John for Christmas Break
Working at Disney
Driving in the Snow from UT to ID
Getting housing in ID
Finding a place and a way to transport all the crap i'v accumulated in UT to ID
Not being in the RS presidency anymore
Leaving my Singles Ward
Money
Getting married

I just feel like i still don't have any answers and my life is rushing forward toward this future that i want but i'm not sure that i will get and i'm just so nervous and scared! ug! And people are needing answers and dates and times and stuff out of me and i just feel like i don't have any answers. I feel like a bad friend because i'm trying to balance planning future stuff, spending time with girlfriends, and a boyfriend, and doing my church calling, and still having time to do my laundry and babysit for the Fraziers. And its stressing me out because i like to plan stuff out in advance and i like to know what my future is bringing me. and i like to know every little detail, ug i'm too much like my mom! lol. I just wish i knew all the answers and what was going to happen. ug ug ug. Anyway i'm just venting on my blog and if anyone has any advice i'm open to it.
xoxo

Cleaning Surprises!

Today when I signed into my email account I noticed that my inbox was a little over 75% full and I decided to do a little clean up. I had messages in my account from the winter of 2005! Talk about old emails! But as I was reading and deleting and saving I stumbled across some pictures that I must have sent from my phone to my email at various times. They are some good pictures and reminded me of the good old times!

This is me back in the day when Epcot had the Disney Characters on Holiday Bus! Can you Guess who I am?

This is me at my College Program Graduation! I love my little EARS!

This is Me and One of the Best People I know, Mrs Brandy! We ate so much ice cream that night! Hungry Hungry Heffer!

This is the first picture John and I ever took together! End of Summer of 2005! Crazy Because neither of us knew it but we were madly in love with each other back than too! <3

So now my inbox is a bit smaller and I got to have the warm fuzzies for a bit! Man I love cleaning!

-xoxo-

Google Tag

Rules: Answer the questions and then google your result and pick an image off the first three pages to post that goes with the answer!

1. My First Name: Leslie, aparently there is a pile of volcanic ashes named Leslie's Guch in Washington state!

2. My Middle Name: Anne. As in Anne Boleyn, you know the Queen of England? At least until she was beheaded!

3. My Last Name: Bucklew, lots of my relatives and extended family are buried in Arlington National Cemetary in VA.

4. My Age: 21, apparently there is a movie called 21?

5. Favorite Place to Visit: London, England!

6. A Place you want to visit: Italy

7. Where I Grew up: Lake Worth Florida!

8. First Job: Teaching Piano Lessons.

9. College Degree: My A.S. from BYU-I

10. What I'm doing right now: I'm a Bank Teller at UCCU

11. Grandmas Name: Dorthy

12. A Nickname of a Good Friend: Bri VandeCamp... I mean TRAMP! lol

13. A Past Love: JTT man was he a hotty!

14. A Pet that I've Owned: I used to own two finches, one was Hedwig and the other one was Mr. Finch the Grinch.

15. My Favorite Color: Blue, any shade!

16. A Bad Habit: I rarely eat breakfast, and when I do its usually not very healthy!

My Mom is Amazing

So besides the fact that my mom is my best friend, she is also amazing at her second job. You know the one where she gets paid! LOL But anyways for those of you who may not know my Mom is a CRNA which means she drugs you so you don't feel anything when you have surgery. Today She was able to be the Anesthesiologist for Dara Torres who lives in FL with her Family. Dara Torres is an Olympic Swimmer(41) who recently returned home from Beijing with 3 silver medals! Anyway My mom was in the surgery the whole time and made sure she had a good surgery. If you want to watch the surgery its on CNN.com and you can follow the link below to see it. My mom is standing behind the Blue operator sheet and you can see her silhouette the whole time!
Way to go mom, your amazing!
Plus it was cool getting to see my mom from so far away! MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU MOM!

The Article:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/conditions/08/27/torres.surgery/index.html
The Video:
http://www.cnn.com/video/?iref=videoglobal

A Complete 180

So it seems like just when you think your life is down in the dumps and all hell is breaking loose on you personally, the Lord finds a way to brighten your day, lighten your load, and of course chase the clouds away. My load is light, my heart is happy, and I am fully back to loving life. Funny how if we didn't have any pain we would never know bliss. In the last 2 or 3 weeks my time days have been so full of things to do its been such a blessing, between finishing up school at SLCC and going to the temple and going to ward activities and planning enrichments I have had little time to get on and update.
Right now life has never been better. I am out of school for the fall and going to be working my butt off to try and save up some money for the winter. I am currently serving as 2nd counselor in the RS presidency in my Singles Ward and love my calling. The sisters in my ward are amazing and I learn so much from them every week! Its also our wards turn to take the cleaning assignment for our church building which has been a wonderful service opportunity. On top of all the great church stuff going on I have been able to spend more time with the wonderful Trinnaman clan! They are so amazing and so much fun. We eat dinner and play games every sunday! Their oldest daughter and her husband and 2 kids are getting ready to move back from VA for a little while so there will be even more fun to be had!
Life is great and the mountains are beautiful in the summer. I will try and get some pictures posted soon but it all depends on when I get my hands on them and then get my computer somewhere that has the internet!
Till then!
xoxo

Feeling with words

Ever since I was little I have loved to read, there is something so amazing about escaping into a completly new world with new people and new places where you have to use your imagination to figure out who the people look like and where they are at. When I was growing up I always liked to imagine myself as the characters in my books.
Reading for me has always been something that has helped me through some tough times in my life. A book never changes and most stories have happy endings unlike real life which is always changing and lately seems to be less on the happy side. I have been re-reading one of my favorite book series, which I was hesitant to pick up again because it is a very angsty romance and my life has taken such a twist in the romance department I didn't want to make it worse. But I started to read it anyway. As I was reading I came across a passage that specifically describes how I am feeling at this moment:

" I intuitively knew - and sensed he did, too - that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility."

As I read this I realized that this is exactly how I feel about my relationship at this point. And I'm not sure that its a good way to feel, especially when it turns all power and control into the other persons hands. I trust him a lot, with my life. But at the same time, I know that with that trust comes the power to crush me. I would rather continue in one way or another, at this point I have a feeling that the road i'm going to travel will be a bit more lonely than i'd hoped for.
For the past 2 weeks I feel like I have been just living life to get by, to go through the motions, which I guess when any major life change happens you have to do for a certain amount of time while your heart heals itself. I want to heal, but part of me knows that a small portion of me will never be the same. I know I will be happy again and I know that the pain will dull. But for now. Being away from the person I love hurts more than any other pain I'v ever known and ever care to know again.